Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Another Day loving Lily

Today started a litte rough...Miss Priss wanted to wear her soaking wet clothes that she came to us wearing. I washed them, but they were still dripping. Wow, the looks she can give when she doesn't get her way. She ate yogurt for breakfast and was content. There is another family whose new son is from Lily's SWI. We were sitting at different tables and Lily couldn't see him. She kept shouting his name and asking if he was OK (in Chinese but I've learned that word...sounds like holla...yeah big kids are calling her "the holla back girl") Anyway, I thought it was so sweet that she was checking on her friend. So thankful that she was taught compassion.

We hurried upstairs to our room to Skype with my side of the family...Granny, my cousin's daughter who is so in love with Lily already, my brother, SIL, and my very excited nephews. We practiced saying Ni Hao, Steven to answer when he called. He is 8 and has really wanted to see his new cousin. Well...guess who started silently crying on the way to our room? She was wailing by the time the Skype came through. It broke my heart to see those grinning boys and hear Trent tell them that Lily couldn't talk to them. She was loud and we did our best to not let them hear. She sounds so pitiful and I knew it would upset all of them. Trent gave them a tour of the room while Lily and I stood at the window outside our room and both sobbed. She was loud but I was holding my breath and trying not to scream right along with her. It hurts so bad not to be able to help her. She is ours now and we love her just as much as we do Mary Ashtyn and Reece. Trent and I switched so I could try to talk to my family, bless was not pretty :) I didn't want them to think anything was wrong with my baby...she really is perfect and I wanted them to see that. I tried to explain she was crying to get some control and to get her way. Sweet Matthew, who is 6, speaks up and says, "why don't you just give her what she wants?". How precious is that? Impossible to understand even for aduls, she needs to have been with us since she was a baby. She wants to know that we won't leave and the only way to be sure of that is to test us. We're passing,barely, but it's just because of that peace that God has given us. It doesn't hurt that our beautiful joy is an absolute doll...even when she's screaming her head off. My family didn't get to see the sweet girl that we experience most of the time. They saw the 45 minutes of each day that bring us to our knees.

Long story short...we ended the Skype broken hearted. Lily lets me know that she needed to potty. As we are leaving the restroom,she sees her clean underwear that she wore on Gotcha Day. She grabs them, lays down, sticks her leg in the air, and gives me the "change me now" look. Slightly damp panties=no more tears!!! Trent's parents get to see our typical Lily who really does live up to her middle name :) Our other nephew, Eli, and niece, Emma Jo, get to see the little diva in action. She says their names and even colors Eli a picture as we talk on Skype. Can't say enough about the support of our families. Scott and Misty called Wes and Ashlie and talked them through downloading Skype. THEY GOT TO SEE OUR LILY!!!!! Brayden and Steven talked to her and watched her play. Matthew was already asleep and won't remember seeing her...his eyes just rolled back in his head when they got him out of bed. HA. So thankful that all of the cousins saw our girl today. No more grieving after this...she ate a good lunch and huge dinner. She pointed to her symbol for sleep and went to sleep with us watching over her. So very in love with this little girl!!!

This was supposed to be a short post...oops.

We have an EARLY start tomorrow...leaving at 7:30 am on the way to BaoTou, where Lily was born, left, and lived for the past 6 years. We will visit the SWI and go to her finding spot. It will be very hard on all of us, but we feel that she needs this closure. She has suckers,stickers, and bracelets for her friends. She knows that we'll leave for Guangzhou on Friday. She seems to understand that we are only visiting, but you know it will be scary. I worry about my baby and my big kids. Heck, I'm worried about Trent and me!!! If you're praying for us...could you maybe hit your knees for us? The song,Courageous, has been on my heart all day, "the only way we'll ever stand is on our knees with lifted hands". We need you all.